Friends

I originally wanted to begin this post with "Some things you should know about me" but that's not what I mean. What I really mean is "Some things I want to say about myself."

Here are a five things I want to say about myself and friendship:

(1) I don't use the word 'friends' lightly. It means a lot to me.

(2) I have few people in my life that I consider true friends. And I like it that way. I don't like to care about too many people at once. Wait, let me rephrase that -- I prefer to care about a few people whole-heartedly than a lot of people half-assed, which is what having a large circle of friends would cause me to do.

(3) I don't make friends easily because I don't trust easily. Just because you know my name and can make me laugh, doesn't mean we're friends. If that offends you, I doubt we ever will be.

(4) Once I make a friend, we are friends for life. I am fiercely loyal.

(5) I'm the type of friend you want to have. I won't lie to you. I will not give you advice if you don't want it. I will stand up for you, even if you never know it. We can disagree on things I consider foundational to who I am, and I will still support you; I will be in your corner, be your advocate. I will never take you for granted. I don't get offended easily and I say sorry quickly.

For some reason, this has been on my mind all day and I just wanted to get it out. So that's that.

Slow Goals

Inspired by the Snail-Paced goals posted here, I'm going to set a few (see: three) goals of my own for this week.

(1) Return my library books.

(2) Work out on the treadmill twice.

(3) Set up jewelry stuff in closet

So tune back next week for an update and some pics! :)

Darkness

Last night, for the first time, I welcomed the darkness.

I welcomed the absence of light and sound. I could only see the faint glow of light floating through the bedroom door from our sliding glass door. It wasn't even enough to let me see my hand.

No one was speaking, not the TV or my cell phone or my husband. There was nothing vying for the attention of my eyes or ears. It was simply dark, and for once, the dark was comforting.

My mind moved slowly from thought to thought, with no purpose or intention, other than to think. No concentration was required to accomplish any task. It felt as if my mind was relaxing from a long workout that had left it tight and cramped. And finally it had the chance to unwind.

I'm beginning to wonder if the invention of electricity, which allows us to continue our work long past sunset, isn't abused in my home.

The absence of light isn't intended to cause fear, as it often has for me. Fear of the unknown, fear of what wasn't accomplished during the daylight, fear of imaginary monsters.

Maybe the darkness caused by the setting sun is meant to signal a time to stop what you're doing, stop concentrating, stop accomplishing, stop planning, stop worrying, just stop. And unwind, relax, find comfort in the darkness.

Just some thoughts.